Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Green mimosas i think yes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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