Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
