So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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