I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pants are for mortals
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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