Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
