? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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