Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do herpes really smell.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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