Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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