i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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