Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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