But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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