i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
