Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Shame - the story of my life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
