Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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