..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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