Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
