just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
