thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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