he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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