apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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