I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
