So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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