I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your cock deserves a montage
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
