For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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