yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
