someone threw a dead crab at me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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