He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
