no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Randomize
