so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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