Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
