i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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