Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
