In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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