Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
