..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
