Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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