I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
