just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
