is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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