i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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