i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
