Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
