i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
