So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
