Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
