Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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