Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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