just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
