I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
