do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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