I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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